学进去

Dare to be Dull

A big part of why spontaneous (即兴的) speaking feels so challenging is the desire to always say the right thing in the right way at the right time. But that leads to unnecessary self-evaluation and criticism, consuming precious mental energy and preventing you from 1． engaging in the moment. I often advise people to follow a spontaneous comedy saying: “Dare to be dull.” That is, don’t feel you are   2． to give an exceptional performance. Recognize that there is no single “correct” way to answer a question, give feedback or welcome a colleague —only better or worse   3．.

Another popular saying also   4． here: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” Listeners are more likely to trust you when you speak like a man of   5． rather than an actor or a robot. For example, research shows that the most effective speech includes 6． use of fillers such as “um” and “ah.” So when you need to speak spontaneously, refocus your attention on your listeners instead of   7． with your inner critic. Attempting to serve their needs will take your mental spotlight off yourself, relieving the pressure you feel. Tell yourself that 8．, making mistakes, and learning during spontaneous interactions are normal.

Micah, a student of mine, was fearful that his class contributions would be seen as 9．. To avoid embarrassment, he planned and rehearsed the points he wanted to make. But because he was always working to remember them and find the right time to use them, he was 10． and failed to get the most out of discussions. With my help he focused on silencing his inner critic. He began offering more ideas, sometimes imperfectly formed, and in just a few weeks he became less anxious and more confident.