学进去

My best friend traveled to stay with our family last weekend. When she arrived, she went straight to the kitchen and, without asking, ate a spoonful of raspberry jam and some dried fruit. She wasn’t being rude. I knew she would do this. We’ve known each other for almost 20 years. She can eat anything she wants from my kitchen. Indeed, I bought her favorite fruits and snacks at the shop that morning.

Our long weekend together was luxuriously (惬意地) simple. I was recovering from surgery (手术) and couldn’t go to shopping malls. We passed the time running errands (做杂事), going to the post office and collecting dry cleaning. We drank way too many cappuccinos. But we talked about every little detail of our lives.

There’s never been a quiet moment in our friendship. We’ve lived in different cities for almost a decade. Reunions demand constant conversation. our personalities are matched, to be sure, and a shared history is indescribably valuable. We were competitors in high school before bonding over a bad experience. Then we discovered the many interests that we had in common. Our friendship cemented (巩固) itself quickly. We stayed companions through law school, through our first jobs and our first boyfriends. We supported each other through break-ups and breakthroughs. Ours is a friendship for the ages.

There is something special about friends who know everyone and everything about you. They are rare. These are the people you’ve chosen to witness your life. They have seen the bright lights of achievement, the depths of despair (绝望) and the boring routine (平淡乏味) of the in-between.

It’s special to unpack feelings and frustrations without wasting time filling in the blanks. As my long weekend shows, with such friends we don’t have to “do”, we simply have to “be”. We drop the act, the performance, the public version of ourselves.

The special friendships are those which never fail to delight, the continuation of which is worth the extra effort, despite distance and difference sneaking (溜进) into your separate lives. I had the very great joy of this reminder last weekend. I’m lucky to have found this friend, to see a future where her companionship remains. Being together is perfection.