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Do you compare yourself to other people? Perhaps your best friend receives something you really want, or you’re not allowed to go to a concert but your brother or sister is. Even though comparisons are common and can sometimes be beneficial, focusing (专注) on your own progress is important for your happiness.

“We often compare ourselves to others who are doing better or not as well as ourselves.” says Dr. Jack. “But I suggest comparing yourself to your past self and your future self. This can make you feel proud of what you’ve achieved and excited about what you might do. Focusing on your own purposes is more worthwhile than always trying to come out on top.”

Comparing yourself to those around you is natural. It can help us to be clear about our achievements and to form friendships with people having similar interests. However, nobody is perfect in real life. It’s also important to realize how the comparison is making you feel. “If you begin to feel quite low, focus on your own strengths.” says Jack. In other words, you can ask yourself questions like “What can I do well in?”, which can help you trust yourself.

Maybe here you are wondering “What if all my friends are better than me?”. Dr. White says that jealousy (妒忌) is not bad but focusing on bettering your own work can help you feel just as successful. He also mentions that learning to celebrate your friends’ success can not only help to cheer your friends up but also help you feel good. It will encourage you to build each other up.