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Can you read the air?

The words we say are important. They tell a listener about our thoughts and emotions. But words may not be the most important way to communicate meaning. According to one study, only seven percent of the meaning comes from words. Instead, meaning comes mostly from non-verbal communication (非言语交流), because non-verbal communication includes your tone of voice and your body language and it can cause misunderstandings when you are talking to someone from a different culture.

In Japan, for example, non-verbal communication is very important. Business speaker Erin Meyer once gave a presentation to a group of people in Japan, and at the end, she asked if anyone had any questions. No one raised their hand, so she sat down. A Japanese colleague (同事) told her that he thought some people did have questions. She was surprised. So he asked the group if they had any questions, and again, no one raised their hands. But then the colleague looked closely and asked a woman if she had a question. She did. Afterwards, Meyer asked her colleague how he knew that the woman had a question. He explained that in Japan, people who are looking at you directly often have questions.

Meyer’s experience shows it is necessary to “read the air”. Then how can people read the air? Here are some ways. Pay attention to non-verbal cues. They often reveal more about a person’s mood or attitude than their words do. Observe (观察) the social context and cultural norms of the situation. Different cultures have different levels of directness in communication, so it’s important to know how people in that culture usually express themselves. Listen carefully to the tone and style of language used. It may indicate a more serious and respectful context or request.

In fact, reading the air is a social skill that people in certain cultures or situations use to understand the unspoken emotions, thoughts, or intentions behind what someone says or does.