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In many families, the oldest child is often expected (期待) to take care of younger ones, take on more housework, and tend to (倾向于) have more expectations placed on them. But why do older children seem to “always have to do everything”?

Parents give housework to the most capable (有能力的). Sometimes, parents need children to do some housework when they are busy. Because the oldest child is the most likely to be able to carry out the work, parents tend to give the housework to that child. It doesn’t necessarily mean that younger children aren’t as capable of doing housework. Sometimes, parents overlook (忽略) younger children because they seem so young. However, it’s important to ask yourself, “Are younger children now ready to take on more work?” “Can we hand out some of the housework to the younger ones?” Remember, many hands make light work.

Younger children look up to the oldest. Whether older children want them to or not, their younger siblings (兄弟姐妹) look up to them. This may put kind of pressure (压力) on the oldest to do things to help the younger children go on to look up to them. In this way, older children often jump in to help younger ones with math homework, reading, housework, etc. As a result, older children, not the younger ones, have more chances to be leaders.

Parents put pressure on the oldest to be an example. How many times do we hear a parent say to the younger ones, “If you just would do what your brother does…”? Saying this, a lot of parents put pressure on the oldest to work as an example to their younger siblings. This may help the older ones take on more responsibilities (责任), but it can go too far. Some older children are likely to become people-pleasers. They tend to say “yes” to others just to please everyone but themselves.

So, be sure to spend time with your oldest child. While we’re placing all those responsibilities on our oldest kids, we’d better remember that it’s important to spend time with them. It’s easy to become caught up in younger siblings’ needs, but that doesn’t mean our older kids don’t need us! When you’re working on the housework and responsibilities for the next week, make sure you spend some time with your oldest doing something fun.